This is going to be a eulogy for someone I respect immensely. His closed ones were shocked to know of his passing on 8th May. This was my appachan (dad)'s best friend, they have known each other for more than 35 years. As I write this I am not even able to begin to fathom the finality of life.
A friend affects all spheres of one's life. And so did Ambooken uncle appachan's. He was a father like figure for me in many ways. The only reason I was sent to a school 24 kms away from home was his persistence in persuading amma and appachan. Even a slight bit of apprehension appachan had, he wiped away by strongly pointing out how girls should be very well educated. I think he played the biggest role in clearing amma's reluctance to send a 4 year old in a jeep traveler so far away to school insisting on our bright future. Amma and appachan were also comforted by his presence so close to school. So in a way what and where my sister are in life, we owe it to him.
There have been numerous times when appachan had been called to school urgently due to some injury we had or some sickness. And each time we knew in 10 minutes time Ambooken uncle would be at school, because for my appachan to reach school would take at least an hour given the distance. This one time my sister hurt her chin and was bleeding profusely I was called in and made to tell appachan over phone how bad the situation was and that she might need immediate stitches. I remember I was so perplexed as a 11 year old when appachan asked how bad it was, sensing his tension. It took Ambooken uncle 5 minutes to be at school and the wave of relief I experienced when I saw him because I knew I could trust him to decide just like my dad would for Sara and me. Now when I am nearing 30 I realize what a great human he must be, because for a child to trust someone like their parent isn't that natural.
I have never seen a parent who is as proud of his children as he. I think this attitude also rubbed off on my appachan. Years later when George (his youngest son) and I met in college, we exchanged notes on the fact that how are dads asked us to learn from each other, which was surprising for both us because they never let their pride for their children down. But it also showed me how much my dad respected this man.
The man cannot be remembered without his sense of humor. He lights up every gathering. Years later even after leaving behind my nest whenever amma and appachan return from a colleague's party I ask if Ambooken uncle and Rinsy aunty were there, to know if the party was lively that was all was needed. Some of my best childhood memories are the numerous family trips we have taken. A particularly fond trip was the one to Darjeeling and Gangtok. Ambooken uncle used to make so much fun of appachan's paunch and how appachan is a few months pregnant. 20 years or so after the trip, we still laugh over that joke. His jokes were never hurtful and I have started realizing how that is the kind of humor this world needs more of.
He had a heart to help anyone in need. On the very same trip to Darjeeling, my sister fell sick on the train. He walked up and down the train compartments trying to find a doctor. When amma's brother (for him, his friend's brother in law) was in hospital for a major surgery, he inquired regularly for my uncle's health and even visited my uncle. That is how much he valued every relationship.
My dad retired from office a year ago and Ambooken unlce, 10 days ago. My dad was really looking forward to enjoying their retired life together. It was going to be a lot of trips like the old days and my parents were really excited for this phase of their life. I also knew they had a great companion in Ambooken uncle for their lives ahead and it was always a sense of relief to know that. Our loss is nothing compared to his family's. The short span he lived, he did live a very happy life.
Ambooken uncle, as my eulogy 'Your memory lights up our lives. And I would like to say THANK YOU for being who you were.'
Anna
