This spring

THIS SPRING

 I just missed my bus home and have to wait another hour for the next one. So, Idecided to make the most of the rare day of nice weather. I spread myself out on a patch of lawn close to the bus stop, keeping an eye out for the next bus. The spring blossoms are showering down with the passing breeze. This is a calming experience like no other.

Today marks the end of classes for the academic year, which made me realize it has been 2 years already, since I made the big move to the US.

It has been the 2 most significant years. It taught me life at a greater measure than nothing else ever had. It made me realize how unprepared we are to face what is coming for us in life but ‘with a little help we all get by.’ I have learnt to accept myself, I have learnt to be by myself, to adore my own company and more importantly to appreciate myself with all the flaws. I have also learnt what it is to be ‘depressed’ in life and what it is to be lonely. But we all ‘get by with a little help.’ Small steps at a time…

Looking back, it has not been the best years of my life. There have been remarkable moments (I got married, that is definitely one to count), yet I relate to most of these past two years as a struggle. It definitely makes a personstronger, but you pay a big price for it, there are bits of your heart that gets chipped away. But ‘with a little help I got by.’

As I can hear the birds chirp, watch the cherry blossom petals fall and smell mowed grass, I wonder what it is all about to be alive. I do not have a definite answer, but I feel it is just the “now” which it is all about. That “now” shapes us and all we need in that “now” is a ‘little help to get by.’

Most of the times we fail to see that circle of life, but I know for now that a tumultuous heart will settle down. But it sure as hell takes its own sweet time, like the winters in Ithaca, which seem to never end.

When I go back home this summer, I will remember this place more fondly than I have ever felt. I will remember the freezing cold, the knee-deep snow, the occasional sun, the library stacks, and even the TCAT buses too. I will remember I ‘got by with a little help.’  Whether we like it or not, we leave a bit of us at each of our abodes, and so I leave a bit of me in this cold icy place.

And till the next spring, this one should keep me going…